Like Shaving, Except You Sweat More

I did something yesterday that I had never done before.

For the first time in my entire life I mowed the lawn.

(No. That is not a euphemism.)mowing_the_lawn_grass

I mowed the yard and I have a couple of things I would like to say about it. 1) It was both way easier and way harder than I expected. 2) Why did we buy a lawn mower that wasn’t self-propelled?

For those of you who have also lasted this long without ever mowing here is how I would describe it: It is a lot like shaving except you sweat more.

So now I am not sure if I should be proud that I can mow the grass or embarrassed that it took me 35 years to do it for the first time.

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  1. Does it make you feel better that I’ve never mowed a lawn? I’ve been tempted to try lately, just because I’m home this summer & hate for FT to have to do it on weekends.

  2. I have been forbidden by the hubs to EVER mow the grass again (there was a method to my madness!!). He was working long hour son a project so I thought I would “help him out” by mowing the grass. When he saw it he actually asked me how long ago the aliens had landed to mak crop circles on our lawn. Apparently, you have to raise/lower the blade to a certain height.Who knew??

  3. Now that you’ve mowed your lawn, I’ll never have to. Way to go! I’m not jealous or embarassed, just a little stunned that you were outside for that long.

  4. I think you should be proud. And also glad that you don’t sweat when you shave yourself. 😉

  5. I had to mow the lawn all growing up, so in my adult life, I’ve refused not to. Now I’m married to a man who LOVES mowing his lawn, so I never have to worry about it. Woohoo!

    But congratulations to you. I’m….impressed?

  6. Um. I meant that I’ve refused to mow…not that I’ve refused not to mow. Dammit. Now I’ve confused myself.

  7. Our yard is so small, I can cut it with scissors.

  8. I have never used the mower either. And I think I can go to my grave without ever having experienced, and not feel like I missed anything.

  9. I’m 40 and have never mowed a lawn. Never plan to. We have a very nice man that does that for us, we don’t even own a mower. But, good for you?!

  10. You had me at euphemism.

  11. Aunt Bob says:

    I mowed yesterday, too, and cursed Pete for leaving for Alaska before he did it.

  12. So what was it about yesterday that broke the enchanted spell of never having to mow a lawn? Aunt Bob mowed her lawn yesterday too (although I think she’s done it before, just not very often). I feel so uncool.

  13. i am in awe, my dear.
    i WISH i had the strength to push a lawnmower. i can barely push those plastic fisher price ones that blow bubbles!

  14. i slipped it in our vows that i would never mow the grass… and something about no recliners in the house until death do us part.

    so far so good.

    i’m sad to see my non-mowing group has just lost a fellow member. *sniff*

  15. LOL…this is our third year in this house and the first year hubby has mowed the lawn…i did it the previous two years…

  16. I mowed the lawn for the first time in my life a few months ago at almost 35 years of age. I had the same exact thoughts that you did. I would add that I did hate every single minute of it. I have since hired a lawn service.

  17. I have never mowed the lawn. I also happen to be so allergic to grass that, when I was a teenager and my brother dumped the grass clippings on my head as a joke, I was in the hospital for a week. I was not laughing. I don’t think I will even risk the full lawn mowing experience.

  18. I can mow the lawn, but it’s way easier to get my husband to do it. That’s why we have a riding mower. It’s much more macho than a girly push mower.

  19. The first time I cut the grass at this house, I fell off the curb and broke my ankle. The last time I cut the grass at this house, I had the worst asthma attack I’ve ever had. I think I should hire a lawn boy, no?

  20. Um, Sarah? No way in heck are you 35 years old!?

    HOW do you do that! :-D.

    Happy Monday.

  21. I have often compared it to shaving my legs, I always leave those little strips that you don’t see while you are doing it and then have to go back with the remedial work!

  22. I have never mowed a lawn either. Now we don’t have a yard so it’s easy to keep avoiding it. 😉

  23. Euphemism, he-he.

    Now you know what we are wondering?

  24. I stopped reading after the second sentence just so the rest of the post wouldn’t ruin my fantasy. So thanks for that.

  25. I love mowing the lawn. Sometimes, when the kids are driving me crazy, I tell Mr. Schmitty he can deal with them. I’m gonna go mow. I put on my ipod, put the earplugs in, and mow away!

  26. Hello, my name is Natalie, I’m 33 and I’ve never mowed the lawn.

    What? Cut grass makes me sneeze, OKAY?

  27. I love the smell of cut grass in the morning.

  28. Mowing the lawn = Mommy’s ALONE time.

    But we have a riding lawn mower. Because, clocking in at nearly 2 acres, our lot would take WEEKS to mow with a push mower. OK, maybe not weeks, but a LONG time nonetheless.

  29. Got you beat.
    I’m 39 – heading toward 40……
    zero lawn mowing in my life. I want to make it to the grave without doing it once.

  30. Add me to those pushing 40 who have NEVER mowed a lawn. Though I’ve held a weed whacker a few times….

  31. I have also never mowed the lawn. My parents both enjoyed mowing the lawn when I was a kid, so never had the opportunity to do so. Now that I am married, I have a husband who also likes to mow the lawn. Again, leaving me no opportunity to really attempt it. You have inspired me to try. Maybe I will attempt to mow the lawn in the near future.

  32. Good for you for trying something you’ve never done before! I’ve used a lawnmower before, but it’s been YEARS…like when I was in my mid-teens. Ever since then I’ve lived in apartments where someone else has done the dirty work! :)

  33. Ahhh but have you wielded a weed whacker?

  34. You made the Washington Post Express Blogs section again this morning with this post. Wicked awesome.

  35. When I lived with my brother when I moved back to Chicago, I mowed his lawn (not a euphemism) as a favor for letting me stay there rent-free. I got blisters from the plastic handle, so I won’t be doing that again.

  36. I used to occasionally mow the lawn with my dad and my brother. Once, when I was in high school, they made me trim — which meant I had to use the push mower while they rode around on the tractors. They would each take turns getting off their respective mowers to come over and tell me that I needed to get closer. I was doing all the “heavy lifting” while they rode around, and each time they would come over and tell me how to do it better, it would piss me off just a little bit more. Finally, after one of them had climbed off his tractor to tell me for the umpteenth time that I wasn’t getting close enough, I backed that sucker up and lined it up perfectly with a brand new tree that my dad had planted. And as he watched in dismay, I mowed the little SOB right down to the ground. Then I turned to face them and shouted “IS THAT CLOSE ENOUGH FOR YOU??!!?”, turned off my mower and stopmed into the house. I haven’t mown a lawn since.

  37. I have never mowed a lawn in my life. I don’t even know how to use a lawnmower.

  38. Another pushing-40-yr-old with no lawn mowing experience here. I have, however, piloted a weedwhacker once or twice. That shit KILLS your arms.

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