They Always Look So Happy in the Commercials

I don’t know why the people baking cookies with their kids on TV always look so happy.

I thought it would be a good rainy day activity yesterday so The Goon Squad and I decided to make cookies.

Well, technically we decided to make cupcakes, but I only had two eggs and the box recipe called for three eggs. And my neighbors weren’t home. And I had a package of sugar cookie mix, so cookies it was.

In commercials they show a well groomed lady in a clean kitchen smiling with cooperative and appreciative children that are all wearing pants.

In my house only two of us were wearing pants and I made the other one put on underwear before he could “bake” anything. The kitchen was a wreck from the get go and my hair… let’s just say I haven’t showered since yesterday and I went to the gym this morning.

The directions were simple. A stick of softened butter, one egg and the mix.

Have you ever tried stirring a dry powdery mixture with two four year olds helping?

I do not reccomend this activity to anyone. (Except my enemies.)

It went poorly but eventually I got the first sheet of cookies into my oven. Then it went like this:

Are they done yet? How about now? How about now? Are they done now? Now? Now? How about now? Mommmmmmmy, are they done yet?

and on and on for 9 minutes.

Times four sheets of cookies.

And then:

Can I eat one now? Are they cool enough now? Why are they too hot? Why are you putting them on that rack? Can I eat it now? How about now? Now? I’ll only eat the cold part. Can I eat one now? Are they done now? Can I eat one now? Mommmmmmmmmy this is taking forever. This is taking one million years. Can I eat one now?

Until they cooled.

Then came the frosting. It took 10 minutes and they each frosted ONE cookie.

After that they complained about it.

Those commercials lie. Now my kitchen is an even bigger mess than it was when I started.

And now I am too full from eating cookie dough to go back in there and clean it up.

It is entirely possible that I gained five pounds and I don’t even really like sugar cookies all that much.

The next time it rains I am buying a bag of Oreos and renting a DVD.

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  1. I hate baking cookies with my kids helping, that’s why I usually do it when they are gone or asleep. Does that make me a bad mom?

  2. Y’know, the store bakery makes really nice and pretty cookies. And they taste good too! Why, oh why, would anyone bake cookies?!? Or cakes?? I don’t understand the whole baking concept.

  3. Tollhouse makes these pre-mixed, pull apart chocolate chip cookies. All you have to do is put them on the pan. That is how I bake cookies with my 4 year old. The two year old twin boys – they are not allowed in the kitchen when the oven is on!

  4. Regular Oreos or Double-Stuff?

  5. Wow, you frosted them too? Man, I would have quit way before then. Our grocery store makes pretty good cookies and I don’t think my three year old even remembers that I can actually make a cookie. He hasn’t seen that process in a long time.

  6. That’s funny. I feel the same way though. The only time I even attempt this is for holiday cookies and even then I make most of them during nap time!

  7. Hmmm…maybe because we don’t have children yet (or becaue I come from a really big family where chaos was the norm), but that sounds really, really fun!! I’m unexpectedly jealous — whining, complaining kids and all!

  8. Kids don’t appreciate the extra work, for sure.

  9. I LOVE this post.. and you are right..I feel the same way about crafts..it’s easier to just go to Toys R Us.

  10. It may not have been “fun” but think of the time wasted! We bake sometimes just to kill time.

  11. The last time I made a gingerbread house I told my husband that if he ever sees me starting to do anything involving frosting and cookies to please just shoot me and put me out of my misery before I can inflict any damage.

  12. I definitely would go for the bag of Oreos next time.

  13. Oh, I so feel your pain. Definitely been there, done that.

  14. Last week I promised my daughter we’d make brownies in honor of her starting Kindergarten.

    Half way through, I checked the brownies. An hour later, checking every FIVE minutes, they STILL weren’t done. Do you know how THAT conversation went?

    Turns out, instead of turning the timer off half way through, I turned the OVEN off. There were no happy campers in the kitchen, that day.

  15. Hey, that looks like a matzah ball. Are you sure it’s a cookie?

  16. I swear I just had deja vu.

  17. Frighteningly familiar. Eerie, really. Even the lack of underwear. By the kid, of course. 😉

  18. Once you were that age and your were helping your Mom bake, remember that time she had one of those “ka-nip-shins”. Right after that she put a spell on you so you’d have children that behave just like you do.

    That’s why Grandparents always smile when you tell them stories like this.

    The “fun” adventures that await you are too frightening for words.

  19. I’ve been taken by those commercials too. Luckily, now, I just let Shortman buy frozen cookie dough from fundraisers and he eats it himself. 😉

  20. I can’t imagine why anyone would try to bake with children “helping.” I mean, it’s an adorable idea in theory, but it’s clearly never going to work in real life.

  21. I just found your blog through the blogher network.

    I baked cookies with my 3 yr old nephew once – We had tons of fun. Maybe we did it wrong?

  22. and this is why I bake during naptime. Thank goodness mine aren’t even 2 yet, I have 2 more years of reprieve before I have to start baking at 2am.

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