I Hope this Doesn’t Mean They Will Start Rooting for the Red Sox

Claudia walks into the living room with my fancy purse, the one I take to weddings and the opera.

“Mommy, I like your purse. It is very beautiful.”

“Well, thank you.” I say. “Why do you have my dress up purse? Where did you find my dress up purse?”

“In your bedroom.”

“What were you doing in my bedroom?”

“Playing England.”

“Playing England?”

Since this cleared nothing up I went in my bedroom to see how one would go about playing England. I guess I was picturing a tea party with the Queen or something but I was mistaken.

Apparently playing England involves taking all of your library books and half of your regular books and putting them all in my bed. This is where Ian lives. Then Claudia comes to visit him with every stuffed animal she has and all of her dolls.*

“Okay,” I said “but I still don’t understand why you would call it playing England.”

Ian rolled his eyes at me. “Because it is NEW England.”

Okay. Wicked cool then, I guess, but I still want to know why that girl has my nice purse.

* As annoying as that is (and I foresee an argument about getting all of that crap out of my bedroom before they go to bed) it could have been worse. They could have been forming a punk band or acting like football hooligans.

UPDATED TO ADD

Ian just told me he had to download his dog again. I have no idea what that means but it sounds filthy.

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  1. New England has to be easier to play that Ye Olde England…and cleaner..chamber pots come to mind.

    Might start incorporating “downloading my dog” into daily conversation. That and “frosting the cake.”

    πŸ˜‰

  2. Hilarious…
    Loving your blog!!
    Jay @ halftime lessons

  3. They are so funny!

    My kids play going to California. Simultaneously the cutest and most annoying thing ever. They line up all the dining room chairs like a bus and then they pack every.single.thing they would want to take to California onto the bus. It takes DAYS to clean it up.

  4. Mine are playing Florida. It involves a kitchen set and talking about Nana.

    Yeah, I know.

  5. You go to the opera? I’m skeptical. I mean they don’t serve beer there do they?

  6. What size Big Papi jerseys should I send you? Or would you prefer Tom Brady jerseys?

  7. At least your priorities are well aligned. The whole loving the Red Sox thing my sons have going on is killing me.

  8. When I was 4, I was in my bedroom and my father asked me thru the door, “Devra, what are you doing?” and I answered, “Making me a zebra.” My poor use of grammar was a decidedly red flag for my father. He knew I was the type of child who wouldn’t speak like that. So he opened the door immediately.
    There I was. Sitting on the floor of my bedroom. Holding a black permanent marker. And yes, covered in black stripes. I was indeed, “Making me a zebra.” Can’t tell you how thrilled my parents were to bring me to the Department party at Columbia Univ Teacher’s college that night. Although this may have been easier to explain than the time I dyed myself in the bathtub with purple food coloring because I wanted to be an alien.

  9. Go Sox! πŸ˜‰

  10. Didn’t you know every New Englander has a wicked awesome purse?

  11. Makes my kids playing “house” seem so mundane.

  12. David and I will be “playing England” tonight at the Four Green Fields Pub. I’ll be sure to wear my fancy purse.

  13. Kids have the most ridiculous games. I remember things I used to play when I was little and even I don’t get them now.

    I am cracking up at Devra’s comment! My son once colored his entire body with purple and green markers. When I asked him why he did it, he looked at me like I was the dumbest person ever and said “because I wanted to be a purple and green guy”. Duh!

  14. I still don’t get it! And I totally thought I thought like a four year old! Damn!

  15. I thought the sure sign that your kid was playing England was finding him boiling meat in his room and playing cricket. Who knows. I’m off to download the dog.

  16. “Download the Dog” would be an excellent title for a punk band!

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