Cheese Powder

That’s right. You heard me. I named my post cheese powder. What of it?

I have a theory about cheese powder having addictive properties akin to heroin.

You think I am crazy.

I give you the following examples:

Cheetohscheese_powder_orange_cheddar

Doritos

Ritz Toasted Chips, Dairyland Cheddar Flavor

Planters Cheez Blass (their spelling, not mine)

I challenge you to eat one of any of the above, then wait two full minutes and eat two more of them.

Then stop eating them.

There is no way you can stop after that. There are only three things that can stop the madness.

1) Horrible stomach ache.

2) You can run out. You have no choice but to stop, and you feel to sick to drive to the store to buy more.

3) You are in the presence of another adult who calls you out. “Are you seriously going to eat that entire bag of Doritos?”

__

In related news, I have a horrible stomace ache.

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  1. They’re going to find you passed out in an alley somewhere with permanent orange stains on your finger tips.

    Also, Cheese Puffs.

  2. “Ceez Blass”? Seriously?

    No. Just…no. I can’t eat that.

  3. LOL.

    Honestly, your conspiracy theory probably isn’t that far off. Check out the ingredients…willing to bet there is an “artificial flavoring” involved. That’s probably MSG, which has no real purpose in there other than to make the food addictive.

    Almost makes me want to boycott Doritos, but they’re SOOOOOO good and I can’t. At least we’re not addicted to crack, right?!

  4. I agree with Ashlie, I believe that it’s a combo of the Transfats and the MSG that are pure crack to our bodies. But it hurts so good!

  5. There is zero chance I could meet your challenge. Cheese Powder is Heroin, for sure. I am off the stuff for now but OMG is it tremendous.

  6. I hate all food that are artificially cheese flavored. I’m weird.

  7. While not actually covered in the powder, I offer up the equalling addicting Cheez-Its. O crunchy pillows of cheesy greatness!!

  8. And… I meant that the Cheez-Its are not covered in the powder. I, however, just might be.

  9. I agree with your theory.

    I LOVE the Kraft blue box, which is indeed made with cheese powder. (I secretly don’t fully mix the ingredients so said cheese powder is ingested in clumps.)

    But I end up eating the entire bowl of macaroni. I usually don’t eat a lot in one sitting, but I keep going back for more.

  10. Have you seen that commercial where the lights go out and the entire familiy is covered with that nuclear-glow of orange powder?

    Yeah, I don’t allow the stuff in my house, otherwise the furniture and the walls would be covered with it too.

  11. Anyone who says #3? Can suck it.

  12. Let’s not forget Kraft Mac ‘n Cheese.

  13. I was just thinking about Cheez Its. I can vouch for their addictive powers. They don’t have the cheese powder so much as they’re infused with faux cheeseishness, which I think is better. The pepper jack flavor ones are really great.

    BTW: If I had to choose between smelling dog farts and Doritos, I would be hard-pressed to make a decision. Even if the dog had been drinking beer and eating kimchee.

  14. It’s probably the same scary and highly addictive food additive that goes into McDonald’s french fries.

  15. My brother Glenn always said, “You can tell how good Cheetos are for you, because look what they do to the color of your fingers.”

  16. …and disgustingly enough, I once ate an entire packet of cheese powder from a box of mac and cheese. I expelled the contents of my stomach within half an hour afterwards. I guess you didn’t need to hear that.

  17. Yeah, I tend to finish Ada’s mac & cheese. Things are bad, now she is eating more, I am annoyed that I get less. Somehow I think asking your daughter “are you going to eat that” is not super nice.

  18. Mmmmmm! Cheese dust!

  19. sueinithaca says:

    My son passed out in his stroller yesterday while eating Doritos (his first, ever). Any attempt to remove his hand from the bag was met with the wailing of a semi-comatose 2 year old boy. We let him keep the bag, as bad as it looked (we got quite a few comments from people on the street). As soon as he woke up, he resumed eating. Apparently, not even passing out can stop the fake cheese lust.

  20. And THIS is why we don’t keep said cheese powdered foods in the house. Just sayin’.

  21. Yeah, it’s the MSG, also cleverly renamed “maltodextrin” or some such name. It makes you keep eating it! I just ate half a can of nut mix (couldn’t stop!!) and found that why, yes, there is maltodextrin in it. Ugh. I do try not to eat MSG–I tend to get headaches. If it’s bright orange, I need to back away!

  22. This post reminds me of the joke about th retired guy who goes to the Dr. because his dick has turned orange. Well, you can guess the rest but it involves porn and Cheetos.

  23. Uh oh. I have made a deep revelation about myself after reading your post. Upon close introspection, I must now come to terms that it is “Cheetohs” and not “Cheetoes” as I have spelled it for YEARS.

    There isn’t enough therapy in the world I am afraid…

  24. *chuckle*

    I, too, am powerless when it comes to the cheese powder.

    I can’t believe I’m actually admitting that. In public even. Sheesh.

  25. Thank goodness I’m not the only one.

  26. Cheese is the shizzle.

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