Preemptive Paybacks Are Hell

I was on the phone with Devra today when all of the sudden there was screaming.

Claudia was yelling her head off.

Screaming screaming screaming.

Then they were both screaming.

I practically hung up on Devra and ran into Ian’s bedroom.

Ian met me half way, sobbing.

That usually means he knows he is in trouble. If he was hurt he would have stayed where he was and yelled.

So I assumed Claudia was bleeding or broken or something.

I went into the room and Claudia was clutching her arm.

Oh crap. I thought. Our first broken bone.

But then she yelled “Ian did it!” and I knew there were no real injuries.

“What happened?” I asked.

“It was Claudia!”

“Ian did it!”


“Ian squeezed my arm really tight!”

“Only because Claudia pulled my hair!”

“Because he squeezed my arm!”

So I asked them which happened first.

Ian said “Claudia pulled my hair so I squeezed her arm really tight.”

She hates that.

“So Claudia, you pulled his hair first?” I asked.

“Yes.” she said. “But only because I knew he was going to squeeze my arm.”

My daughter is mean and psychic.

This is going to be a long summer.

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  1. Are you sure you aren’t actually relating a story from MY house? Because that happens (including the weird arm SQUEEZING thing) in MY house every single day. So glad I’m not the only one!

  2. I hear you. My kids were doing summer homework and starting arguing about commas.

  3. It’s not birthing stories that scare me, it’s these!!!

  4. That is something Eric would say. Yet another reason they can’t get married.

  5. Thus is the beauty of summer camp.

  6. If you hadn’t practically hung up on me, I would have told you what was going on. What with my telepathy and all.

  7. psychic kids – they are the worst. Unless you can get them their own tv show.

  8. it may be time for us to finally meet for that glass (bottle?) of wine!

  9. Awesome. We’ve got so much to look forward to after August. Also, I know you just can’t wait to deal with this when it’s really hot and sticky too. Mmm. Summer.

  10. Well, there is that whole twins/mind-meld thing, right?

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