Screwing Up Parenting One E-Mail at a Time

As you probably know, I have twins going into Kindergarten in a few weeks.

12 days, but who is counting?

I am new to the public school system. I’ve never had a child in Kindergarten before, so I’ve been trying to pay special attention to the rules.

I’m not really a detail person, but I went to the orientation a couple of months ago and I made sure I wrote down all of the information on the best way to request placement for the children.

I know that you are supposed to take what you get, but I also asked and they like the parents input when it comes to twins.

About six weeks ago I sent an e-mail to the principal requesting that my children be in different classes but in the same family group. I also requested (for my own reasons, I have no problem with mixed grade classes, I just feel that this would be best for my children) a straight K instead of a K-1 class.

Last week when I took my (very late, don’t even get me started on my pediatrician’s office bureaucracy) health forms into the elementary school office I asked about class placement.

“You wanted them together, right?”

Uh, oh.

I went back and checked the e-mail.

See, I sent the e-mail to the principal from an account I never use. I figured sending an e-mail from goonsquadsarah might gets us off on the wrong foot. I thought my nice old Sarah606 address would look better.

The thing is that I don’t use that old e-mail because it doesn’t work properly.

It never sent.fail_stamp

So NOW I have to send a late e-mail from the goon squad e-mail address begging for not only placement, but forgiveness.

And I feel like an idiot.

And they will probably end up in some class together where they will fist fight each other everyday and tell poop jokes and talk about Death Metal Wednesdays.

And the principal is probably reading this right now after googling “goonsquadsarah” and she is most likely concerned about me starting all of these sentences with the word “and” – and am I supposed to be capitalizing principal?

Kindergarten seemed a lot easier when I was the student. Now it seems extraordinarily complicated.

I’ve got to get back to work. I’m going to have to start saving for their therapy immediately.

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  1. I thought the school system automatically split up twins. Or maybe they just do that with my school system. Or maybe I made that up in my head. I have a habit of doing that.

    Maybe you could request a meeting with the principal and just explain the email never got sent? Technology does fail sometimes.

    Breath. It will be ok.

  2. You *will* screw up. Your kids *will* survive. I know, I’ve been there. I’m getting ready to screw up again next week.

  3. You would think they would purposely not put them together, even if you wanted them together.

    I say give the principal one of your keychain bottle openers and all will be forgiven!

    You’re an awesome mom! It will all be fine!

  4. I’m really curious about your reasons for splitting them up. I’ve been considering the options for my own twins, although they don’t go to kindergarten until next year. I think one would do splendidly by himself, but I fear the other would do better if they are together. I’m hoping the school will work with me to try them separated at first, and then move them back together if I want. This year for pre-k I decided to keep them together. Let them get used to school first, ya know?

  5. Oh yeah, and insert encouraging words and praise here.

    You’re welcome. 😀

  6. If that’s the worst thing you do to your kids viz school, you’re doing fine.

    I sent my first kid to her first day of public school in Doc Martins (which we still own, because they’re preshus!), and when her homeroom teacher (now 7th grade)called us to welcome us to her class, I asked if it was okay if she came to school with pink hair (it was, and her hair is). Death metal goes well with blue mohawks (we did that too). I’m telling you, you need to move closer so my kids can be bad influences on your kids.

  7. sueinithaca says:

    hm. I’m impressed that you know how many days it is. Mine starts on the 9th and I stopped counting days on the calendar about a week ago. I refuse to believe that she’ll be in kindergarten in less than 2 weeks.

    My deep denial is only encouraged by the school district, which hasn’t yet determined which elementary school she’ll attend, let alone announcing a class placement or school supply list.

    If they never tell me, I get to pretend she’s still a baby, right? (she probably won’t let me, counting down to her birthday as she is. one!more!day!)


  8. I would have totally played this all like, “What? I emailed you forever ago! You suck.” I just dodge fault like that.

  9. Isn’t it amazing how many unwritten rules there are for all of this crap? I went to the PTO meeting – and they were talking about “water bottle drama”. What? Water bottles? I didn’t know!

    So, I’m observing trying to figure out the drop off lane – without getting squished or pissing off too many people.

  10. There are worse things you could do.

  11. Dear Principal who just Googled,

    Please excuse Sarah. She has twins and is nervous.


    PS, when my kid starts Kindergarden, don’t Google me.

  12. Ah, but the year is young… you got plenty of time. This makes you sound like the Liz Lemon of parenting.

  13. It makes my heart sing to see other parent’s write about their kids fist fighting.

    Makes me feel normal.

  14. There must be a lawsuit. Thanks to that e-mail failure, your kids will now surely become serial killers. Or worse.

  15. You’re so screwed.

  16. Now that their principal has found you (hi!), she knows that however it goes down, it may be documented. But no pressure.

  17. I am taking notes. Bagel starts preschool next fall and I am mentally preparing myself for all the fuck up’s I will encounter. I am sure I will have some amazing blogger material.

    Happy Kindergarden twins!

    Queen of Feisty

  18. Aprylsantics says:

    School still scares the mothereffin’ daylights out of me and I have a 1st and 3rd grader. It’s like I’m going myself. Sorry. I’m no help.

  19. Can’t. Stop. Laughing.

    You will be fine. And so will the kids.

    The principal? We’ll see. :-)

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