Stuth

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  1. Dear Teachers,
    How did my son learn to write the word “cock”? I would appreciate it if you would teach him to spell “dick,” “schlong” or “johnson” as well, as the constant cock is getting a little tiresome.

    Also, any intel on the whole “th” for “f” thing? It’s bugging the thucking shit out of me.
    Love,
    Goon Squad Sarah

    (Seriously though, dude? I’m pretty sure it’s a jackney accent. Look closer.)

  2. I believe I have mentioned on more than one occasion that your children are geniuses.

    This is just further proof. James Cameron thinks he’s “all that” for inventing that avatar language. Humph. What was he doing when he was 5?

  3. We found your Fs! Many of my daughter’s words now start with the letter F, even though they aren’t supposed to. For example, Fuh-kenzie replaces McKenzie, amusingly enough.

  4. I wouldn’t worry about it now, especially if they are both doing it, but if you are concerned ask the teacher. As I teacher, I would not think you were a lunatic. I think parents should contact the teacher with every concern, even if they think it is small. It’s probably something developed on the playground & the kids all think it is amusing!

  5. Hmmm, F’s. I’ll have to think on that one. Right now I’m just trying to figure out how to convince my 19 month old that when she says the word sit she really needs to say it without the added “h”. I got some funny looks and snickers on that one the other day at story time when I told her to sit down and she repeated it back to me with her added letter. Can’t imagine where she got that one from……….. ummmmm.

  6. Where your children have been pronouncing properly up to now, I actually think you should call or email the teacher, just to see if she can shed any light on it, ie, is it an affectation one of the kids picked up and so now the others are copying? It’s a simple question, and you may get a simple answer. No biggie. You’re not blaming te teacher, just asking if she knows where it’s coming from.

    And furthermore? My mother is a teacher, and she (SADLY) is always happy to hear from parents who are actually paying that kind of attention to their kids, it doesn’t happen to her that often. Fucking sad, I know.

  7. Contact the teachers. If they’re like me they may have not even noticed and will be glad to hear it now and giggle to themselves.

    We had a first grader yesterday bring in a condom. It makes writing cock seem like nothing.

  8. It’s not a typical replacement – usually it’s the other way around so I’d say it’s an affectation (probably someone at school I blame everything on those OTHER kids) and they’re just playing around with it. And as one does, so does the other one, right?

    But it’s been a long time since I, one of the worst hearing and speech sciences majors in University of Maryland history, got a D in phonetics. That class sucked, but not as badly as the physics of sound.

    Also lumpyhead’s mom continues to rock the comments.

  9. Mine replaced it with a “b” sound. So “phone” became “bone”. By the time they’re six it’ll be something else. Interesting though that they both did it. Kinda cool.

  10. So I was in T&M’s classroom last week, and they were working really hard with some of the kids on making the “TH” sound and sticking out their tongue to make it (including my son). Now, I notice he is using the “TH” when he should be using “F” (when his Fs were fine before). My guess is that it’s something along those lines…

  11. You sure the teacher doesn’t talk like this? You might want to find out before you go wondering all out loud how your kids learned to talk all crazy and … whoops. I bet it’s like bad singers on American Idol. S/he can’t hear it.

  12. If it makes you feel any better, my boy has replaced a ‘t’ sound with a ‘k’, making ‘let’ sound like ‘lek’. It was kind of cute and better than the ‘t’ changing to ‘f’ sounds making truck sound completely inappropriate when chanted by a transport obsessed toddler. The cute disappeared when the letter substitution hit his writing, it was like reading another language. Fortunately it seems to be passing and another freaky characteristic is likely to raise its head instead.

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