Want to Hear the Most Annoying Sound Ever?

Just when you think you have the most annoying song on the planet stuck in your head.

(NSFW)

Then your husband makes you listen to this.

To “assist” you in getting Die Antwoord “Enter The Ninja” out of your mind.

Yeah, so just when you think it could not possibly get any worse, you walk into Old Navy where you learn that some douchebag covered “More Than Words” and forgot that the only good thing about that song was the harmonies, so they sing it solo or you walk into a nail salon and hear a muzak version of a Santana song that sounds like it a robot was playing the sitar.

You might think you’ve hit rock bottom, but you would be wrong.

Because this is the worst thing – ever:

Oh, and I’m sorry. I forgive you if you are hitting unsubscribe. I deserve it.

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  1. That Celine Dion thing is just…unspeakable. My brain needs a shower.

    It rivals Kelly Osbourne singing “Papa Don’t Preach” in awfulness, and that is saying something.

  2. You know what’s brilliant about this? I was pretty sure up until I read this post that Lexi’s CRANK WHINING was the most awful thing I would hear today. But now you’ve made me love my child again. You’re doing good work here. :-)

  3. Celine Dion and Anastacia should NOT be singing that song. Oh my ears.

  4. I had to wait for “Enter The Ninja” to get annoying. Unfortunately, I didn’t have to wait long.

    And may Celine Dion burn in Hell for eternity. I’m downloading the original now and playing it full blast. Until 8pm.

  5. Am now dead.

    Your fault.

  6. The theme song to The Crying Game. Worst earworm in the history of time. All I have to do is look at Husband and it’s stuck in his head (please don’t read too much into that).

  7. sueinithaca says:

    wasn’t paying much attention when i clicked on the Celine Dion thing and I thought she was Kathy Griffin for a minute (bear with me, we’re on school break week and my brain is fried from all the “working from home” I’ve been doing). I wish it had been Kathy. At least her abomination would have been hilarious.

  8. I heart Celine!

    I think the worst sound is that Potty Dance commercial that is ALL OVER teevee right now. I WILL NOT DO THE POTTY DANCE, MISTER, AND YOU CAN’T MAKE ME.

  9. Oh my. But I think the “AIAIAI I am your butterfly” is the most insidious thing I’ve heard in a long time. I am totally forwarding this to the next person that crosses me. mwahahahaha!

  10. Ninjas in my interwebs. I’m sort of a fan.

  11. juliekirkwood says:

    That Celine thing. Thanks. I won’t be able to sleep now, what with the images stuck in my head and the earbleeding and all.

  12. I love you and all your commenters. That Celine thing is awful, and that Get connected – for free – at Edu-cation connection…originally made me want to go deaf, but after awhile i looked forward to it during the 11pm That 70s Show and now its gone. and OMG the Potty Dance. W.T.F.

  13. Wow….Celine Dion thrusting her hips has scarred me. You know, you can never un-see something. It will be etched in my brain forever.

  14. “Oh, the humanity!”

    “damn you! Damn you all to hell!”

  15. The scariest part of that Celine Dion video is the way the crowd is screaming their heads off, like they are just so thrilled to be watching her play air guitar and make weird faces. Although that leg kick thing she did at the beginning is pretty impressive considering the what, 5 inch heels?

    Also, thank you very MUCH, Kris from NotYetAWino for putting that g*dd*mn POTTY DANCE song back in my head.

  16. Was that a midget? I mean little person.

    I object to Celine’s existance. She is wrong. I saw that she was on Oprah, I love Oprah so I decided to keep an open mind just long enough to witness the interview part. NO NO NO NO Wrong!! She sucks plus she is a wrong wrong wrong person. Shut up Celine!!

  17. I have an unnatural hatred for Celine Dion. Just when I was thinking maybe I’m being to hard on her, I watched 10 seconds of that, and found that I had been justified all along. Thank you, Sarah. :)

  18. (too hard) Oops.

  19. Hmm…got an error, hopefully won’t go through more than once.

    I trust your judgement and respect my sanity enough (at the moment) to not listen to ANY of those right now. But those Education Connection commercials make me want to HURT SOMEONE! And sometimes the networks are super special and play two of them back to back. It’s like they’re TRYING to kill me.

  20. Damn, Sarah, I thought we were friends.

    I can’t un-see/hear any of that. I’m going to have to go slam my head in a door repeatedly to try to rid my brain of those abominations. Thanks a lot.

  21. My head exploded after listening to these songs. Celine Dion should be arrested from crimes against humanity.

  22. I’m stealing that first song to be my theme song because I am the number one ninja.

    I’ll be the ninja of annoyance.

  23. I have just been told by my husband “I am saddened, I may never be able to look at the internet again for fear of finding it!”
    I fear if my son ever sees it, it will turn him off real music and become the emo that is hiding inside.

  24. I want my 5:23 back. Now. And I am more than a little curious…how did this song get stuck in your head in the first place exactly?

  25. WTF, Sarah, WTF?! I mean seriously. I started yelling at my own computer when Celine skipped “rocker” style across the stage. Ugh.

    Can you get an eyeworm? I think I have one. I keep seeing her awkward dance moves playing over and over again in my mind. Thanks a lot.

  26. I’m not even going to push play on the Celine one. It’s WAY too early for me to cope with whatever the consequenses are.

  27. There is no sound worse than that Education Connection jingle. Nothing in this world can compete with the horribleness that is that.

    Even though Celine Dion is all kinds of awesome, she should never sing that song. Never.

  28. Good Lord, I hope AC/DC demanded a HUGE chuck of change to allow her to desecrate their song.

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