You know, sometimes you think you are beyond something. You may not think about it for months at a time. It doesn’t seem like something that bothers you anymore but then there is that name and all the anger boils back up to the surface.
I used to hold crazy grudges. There was a time that I was proud that I did not forgive people. I am not friends with any of my ex-boyfriends. Even now if you piss me off bad enough I just stop knowing you.
I’m not even talking about an old boyfriend. I am talking about the first girl who was my friend who I trusted who betrayed that trust. We were in 10th grade when she tried to steal my boyfriend.
The guy in question wasn’t even worth a damn. My life would probably be a better place had she succeeded. He was a jerk and he ended up cheating on me anyway, but at least it was with someone I didn’t know.
The point is that I never really had any faith in the boy. One time he lectured me on how important it was how many syllables a band name had – you know, because of the chanting at arena shows. He wasn’t really much of a catch. Last I heard he had a nice job at a gas station. He talked so much trash that I wasn’t really all that surprised when it turned out that he had two girlfriends at one time. I was disappointed but not shocked that he was a liar.
I trusted her. She was my friend. I told her my secrets. I never thought in a million years that she would would betray me.
But she did.
She really, really did and I vowed I would never forgive her.
I was 16. It was 21 years ago.
Last night I was in my kitchen, checking my e-mail and there her name is in the subject line.
Hi Sarah,Your Nemesis wants to be friends with you on Facebook.