Bon Jovi was Mistaken. The Hardest Part is not the Night.

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  1. I have no idea what the place is called, but upper nut totally does it for me(snort)

  2. Depends on the person. And the position.

    I would call it “slut” in most cases, I suppose.

    But then, I’m a prude.

  3. Assuming that I’m remembering A&P correctly, there should be a fat pad and pubic bone. But it’s also been a good 15 years since the class so ‘slut’ may work just as well. (That one had me snorting with laughter!)

  4. LOL. Nephew was shifting his crotch around the other day and I asked him, “Do you have to go potty?” Reply, “Nope, my penis just itches.” Had to walk away.

  5. There is an area above the penis? How have I not noticed it before? Maybe because I’ve been focused on other things.

    (Checks a porn site.)

    Ah, okay, I guess that’s what you mean. Growing up, my mother called my privates “The Garden. (Yeah, I know.) So with that in mind, I’d call that area the roots. Or perhaps, after puberty, the lawn.

  6. That part of the penis is referred to by physicians as the Upper Peninsula.

    No, seriously.

  7. Seriously. What is with all the butt shaking? Who knew there’d be so much butt shaking?

  8. Rachel C says:

    Suz,

    My brother was doing the same thing as your nephew when he was around 4 years old and it was totally driving my mom crazy…she finally broke down and yelled completely seriously “NO ONE’S PENIS ITCHES THAT MUCH!” Good times.

    RC

  9. It’s impossible to be a grown up parent and not want to bust a gut laughing at least once a day when you have to explain that touching yourself is fine, just fine, but maybe should be restricted to the bedroom. For private time.

  10. My kids are a bit older than yours…so just to fill you in on another term you may hear. My teen daughter at the pool this summer when looking at boys in swim suits, “He has quite the “happy trail”". Referring to the hairline that leads to the “garden” or “peninsula” or the “netherlands”….

  11. OMG. I was having SUCH a crappy day before I read this post and the related comments. Now I can’t wipe the stupid grin off my face. Thank you Sarah!

    Oh btw..Cap’n Chaos is not quite at that age yet, but I think I’ll have trouble when we get there. I gave him his first teddy a couple of weeks ago and he immediately shoved poor teddy’s head into his lap and did a kind of little grindy thing to it. Umm..WTF, kid?

  12. I’m just checking through the comments for a lesson in anatomy. I may have actually learned something!

  13. Upper nut totally works for me. I think that’s hilarious!

    Upper peninsula just sounds freaky weird. I’d be expecting to see palm trees and coconuts.. oh wait..

  14. Hands down the pants, on the pants, near the pants brought me to point out to the kids, “That’s not the kind of living we do in the living room.” and suggest other more appropriate spots for self examination, scratching, adjusting, whatevering–such as their own bedrooms.

  15. Well, I suppose we could borrow the acronym FUPA from the girls and just utilize a different P-word. Although, I’m pretty sure that would be less-PC than “upper nut.”

    I vote peninsula.

  16. yeah.. a straight face is hard when your child tries to convince you that boogers wouldn’t taste good if you weren’t supposed to eat them.
    I would have told her that rat poison tastes like popcorn, to make a point, but I was scared she’d hunt some down.

  17. I am such a bad parent.

    No clue what that’s called.

  18. I SO laugh at Pu-pu platter, still. It’s just funny to say poo poo. I laugh when I say “Well if you do, do the laundry” I stop and say “I just said doo doo” and laugh loud.

    Upper Peninsula? I’d go with Upper Nut…

    Feisty

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