– “I don’t know, but it looks like a band-aid that the cat ate and then threw up.”
– “I know you are going to find out and make fun of me, so I will just tell you. I bought Joan Jett’s greatest hits today.”
– “Cheryl Tiegs really needs to buy a black bra.”
Actually, I wrote that last one. Well, then I said it, so I suppose both are true. Either way, it seems like a weird thing to say.
– “Why? Why would you take a dirty sock off of the bathroom floor and wipe your face with it? Why?”
– “I just want you to know that if there is an apocalypse and I become a zombie I am totally okay with you shooting me.”