Questions for You: Christmas Edition

Merry Christmas! For your holiday down time pleasure I have 1) Do you celebrate Christmas? 1b) If not, what do you celebrate at this time of year? 2) Do you put an angel or a star on top of your tree?

Bloggers Keep on Blogging

When people ask me what I do for a living I say “I am a writer. I am a blogger and I also sell swag.” I’ve been thinking that if I mean to keep on telling people that I should probably actually write something here.

Proof That Television Rots Your Brain

I lived in Florida for 21 years and avoided it but after watching a mere six episodes of “Friday Night Lights” I started saying y’all.

What Color are Your Nipples?

I yell out from the shower “Hey! What color would you say my nipples are?” He comes to the bathroom door. “Why do you ask?” “Because somebody asked me last night.” “Why?” “I don’t know.” “Well, who asked you.” “Some of the ladies at the party.” “Why did they want to know?” “I don’t know. [...]

Giving Thanksish

Did I tell you that I had 15 people at my house for Thanksgiving dinner? Did I mention that 15 minutes before the big meal was served our kitchen sink totally backed up and even though we tried to drano and plunge it (I didn’t even know you could plunge a kitchen sink before Thursday) [...]

Forward Thinking

“Why isn’t there anywhere to live in D.C.?” asked Elizabeth. I was surprised. She seemed kind of emotional about it. “What kind of place are you looking for?” I asked her. “Like an apartment.” she said. “T.J. has been looking on the internet and everything is so expensive!” “You guys are moving out?” I asked. [...]

True Story

Every time I see a yellow bell pepper I feel a compulsion to take a huge bite out of it, Chairman Kaga style. Just me?

The Audition

The audition was last night. I have to tell you that I chickened out. I said I wasn’t going to do it. I believe the reason I gave my husband was that I was “too pissy to sing a solo”, but then I went next door and my neighbor was auditioning for a different solo [...]

Several Unrelated Things

Last night I had a dream that I was at a thrift store looking for something that I could use as a Halloween costume for my niece, but as I was rummaging around in children’s clothes (where I incidentally ran across some items that I knew for sure were donated by my next door neighbor) [...]

The Halloween Debacle – Part 2

To get the whole story you have to first read “The Halloween Debacle – Part 1.” * * * When I left the parade I was really hoping that Claudia would find her costume on the school bus on the ride home, but when she came off of the bus empty handed I knew we [...]

The Halloween Costume Debacle – Part 1

I am not a terribly prepared or organized human being, but I know from experience that if you wait until mid-October to buy children’s Halloween costumes they will be picked over and you will never get what you want. Halloween is the one holiday I have down, when school starts in September we order our [...]

Laundry Detergent and Farts

I have left the house three times today and each time I got into my vehicle I had the same reaction. So I did what anyone would do. I told twitter. Later I thought, huh. Maybe I should explain that. The story starts last week when my neighbor and I went to Costco. I had [...]