Not So Sure About Those Christmas Carols

I woke up with Walking in a Winter Wonderland stuck in my head.

Woke up with Walking in a Winter Wonderland. Say THAT three times fast.

Anyway, I woke up to this.

In the meadow we can build a snowman
Then pretend that he’s a circus clown.
She’ll say “Are you married?”
We’ll say “No, ma’am.”
But you can do the job when you’re in town.

What the hell?

Is Winter Wonderland about whoring? That can’t be right. There is no way this could be considered a holiday classic. What are we teaching our children?

Thankfully, we have been given the gift of the internet. I got out of bed and as soon as I broke up the first fight between my children I looked up the lyrics to Walking in a Winter Wonderland.

They are actually this:

In the meadow we can build a snowman
Then pretend that he is Parson Brown
He’ll say “Are you married?”
We’ll say “No, man!
But you can do the job when you’re in town.

Okay, I have no idea where I came up with the circus clown bit. I am sure a psychoanalyst would be happy to tell you about all of my issues, but it is December so I have neither the time nor the money to go there.

The good news is that Winter Wonderland is not about promiscuity or hookers. The bad news is that the jokes aren’t very good.

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  1. Actually, the “circus clown” part is the second verse:

    In the meadow we can build a snowman,
    And pretend that he’s a circus clown
    We’ll have lots of fun with mister snowman,
    Until the other kiddies knock him down.

    So you’re not crazy, is what I’m saying.

  2. Average Jane is right about the lyrics. I’m not willing to go so far as to say you’re not crazy, though.

  3. I absolutely LOVE how you casually toss off how your kids were fighting as an aside.

  4. it still sounds fishy to me

  5. Not sure, but I think my wife and I were married by a snowman. It was Yosemite in the winter, and, well, we’d had a memorable bachelor party. I think. I don’t really remember that clearly.

  6. I do a lot of my Google and wikipedia searches while the kids are arguing. I get them to stop by throwing obscure facts at them… they share everything they have learned about the Bee Gees and the cast of Office Space as soon as he gets in the door. Needless to say he is a little unsure about my homeschooling plan. :)

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