White Says I Have to Call this One “I Like Gold Butts and I Cannot Lie”

I was screwing around on Facebook on Friday afternoon when I saw a new status pop up.

It’s not how I imagined being in Rolling Stone…. but I’ll take it!!!!

I immediately clicked through. Rolling Stone! Plus Mike is one of my more interesting friends. He is a performer in Cirque du Soleil. I’m thinking that if he was surprised that this was how he finally ended up in Rolling Stone it was going to be good – and also weird. This was going to be awesome. I was not let down.


Photo: Scott London, Rolling Stone

Photo: Scott London, Rolling Stone

Later that day I was over at my neighbor’s house and a Rolling Stones song came on, which reminded me about this picture. I pulled out my phone and pulled up the picture on Facebook and showed her. “Look! This is my friend from college. He went to Burning Man and he got his picture in Rolling Stone!”

She looks at the picture and says. “Wow! Look at his butt!”

I take the phone back and look at his butt.

It might seem weird that I hadn’t noticed his butt before, but I hadn’t.

“Yeah, he is in amazing shape. And he is 40.”

“He even has those dimples in his butt and everything.”

Then her husband walked out.

“Look at this,” she said “Sarah’s friend is in Rolling Stone.” and she handed him my phone.

“Wow!” he says. “He has a nice butt.”

“Well, he is a performer in Cirque du Soleil. He is in fabulous shape.”

“He even has those little indents and everything.”

At this point I start to wonder if I am being Punk’d. Yes, Mike has a good butt, but he is also painted gold, on stilts, mostly naked and wearing wings and a beak. I originally thought that the reason I hadn’t noticed his butt right away was because I have known him for so long he was on a brother level, but the more I pondered this I really think the reason I didn’t notice his ass right away was because I was too busy looking at his beak.

“I’m a straight guy, but that is a great butt.”

“Is anybody going to ask be why he is painted gold and on stilts?”

They looked at me for long enough to shrug and then back to the phone.

“Nobody is wondering why he is wearing a beak?”

“Well, you said he was at Burning Man.”

I’ve never been to Burning Man. I really don’t know that much about it. I know it involves music, the desert and  hallucinogens. I was not aware that this sort of dress was typical there. I might have to go. I also might have to move farther away from Nevada just in case this sort of behavior is spreading. I am not entirely sure how to process my feelings about this.

I’m not sure it matters.

* * *

So my header has gone missing. I have no idea what happened to it. I am toying with the idea of just being done. Maybe this is the sign I’ve been waiting for. My header is tired. My blog is tired. I am tired.

I don’t think I would pull the whole thing down. Can I just leave it here dormant? Is that an option? Do I start something new? Do I just let it all go? If I paid someone to design me a new header, one that wasn’t mommy oriented would it change how I felt about writing here? Would it rejuvenate me? Would it be a waste of time and money? Could I still call it Sarah and the Goon Squad if I decide it isn’t about them anymore?

I’m not sure that matters either.



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  1. First off, that you’re into metal and nerdy stuff and not know about Burning Man and the weirdness it entails, well, that’s bothersome.

    Second, don’t stop. I say that not because you should keep writing if you don’t want to, but as encouragement. I like your “voice” and you’re one of the reasons I started blogging myself.

  2. Well that settles it, I’m painting my butt gold now.

    You know, I can’t count the number of times I’ve read your exact question on blogs in the past few years. I think it’s a universal question at some point. I’ll give what’s now my standard answer: This is your thing, and it has to please you. Call it what you like, write however you like, or don’t, but the bottom line is this is yours. Whatever you do I’ll follow, because imho, you rock.

  3. Heh.

    The desert? DEFINITELY. Harsh conditions at nearly 4000 ft elevation.

    Music? Yeah, there’s a lot of it out there. The art is more important, IMO. [HUGE sculptures!]

    Hallucinogens? For some, I’m sure. The experience itself is trippy; substances aren’t needed.

    If you want to know more–you know how to find me. My perspective is not the pop-culture one. (But yes, body paint and stilts can be pretty common.) 😉

  4. Your choice on if you quit or not, but keep in mind your entire “online brand” is based around SATGS. You’d have to re-brand yourself if you decide to do something else. Lots of people do that, but it takes some effort and work (or so I’ve heard, because I’ve bothered with a brand or blog in the first place, ha).

    Maybe you could make an entire blog out of posting hot guys’ butts. Think of the traffic you’d get!

  5. You can’t quit. Where on earth would I get these gems? I mean, you’re the only one I know who will post gold butts for me.

  6. Man, I’m 41 and more out of shape and out of touch than I thought. “Burning Man”?? What the? And, that’s a butt I ALMOST had at 17 years of age. No, don’t give up yet, you made me giggle at 7:30am…no easy feat.

  7. Your banner is back! That must be a sign.

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