In my never ending quest to win things from search engines I came across this:
As far as I can remember, Lil Wayne and I have never met and I’m fairly certain we are not related.
I’ve never even heard of Bumpy Johnson, but it sure makes me laugh.
Yes, I’m still a 12 year old boy.
But listen, if Lil Wayne was talking shit about me you guys would tell me, right?
You know when I title a post “Bob Dole was the Doliest Bob” it must be time for the search term of the week!
after i get my adenoids out should i get my tounge pierced
Sure. Right after you explain to me what one has to do with the other.
benadryl for birds
Come on! They live outside.
music videos that have a death clock over peoples heads
pictures of a broken penis
Sorry about that, fellas.
My cat’s paws are stuck in glue
Sucks to be your cat.
Yo Gabba Dildo
You are thinking of Muno. (He’s tall and friendly.)
John Cusak’s dating
Nobody tell Bossy. She’ll be crushed.
Lolita farting
auspicious
Just any auspicious thing?
scarlet johannason niples
Good spelling, Spellerson.
These last three were right in a row.
| crotch torture | 16:52 |
| short freeballing blog | 16:52 |
| big booty drinking game | 16:42 |
Stay tuned for next week when someone searches for “Spellerson” and having recently made up this word (well, Gabe uses it all the time, but since he doesn’t have a blog I am taking credit) I will be the ONLY hit. Sweet.
No, seriously. Someone actually searched Brad Pitt + Hairy Crotch which puts a very specific picture in my mind and it isn’t the pleasant picture you would think would be.
Since I know you all wait breathlessly by your Google Reader to see how the perverts, weirdos and misguided searchers ended up reading about my kids and their bowel issues, here goes:
All that you need to know about mason jars
THE UNEXPLAINED
all of it?
for sore hips funny get well card
Whatever, Yoda. Just get a regular funny get well card.
poops on flower are you sure this is what you want to do?
Wha? I’m not sure of how you would even go about pooping on a flower. You’d have to either be really small, have a very large flower, or have fantastic aim.
Photo of DJ Lance Rock not in costume
I looked, I really did. I couldn’t find anything not in costume. But I did find this:
Here is a question I can actually answer:
How can people take pictures when they are drunk? I say, like this.
It is time for another episode of: Strange Search Terms that Bring People to My Blog
Such as:
beep beep beep Moonlight Sonata
butt emoticon
body acne pictures
perfect pelvis
“pooped in her” – I don’t even want to know if they meant that or not.
And with questions, like:
Who sang with Milli Vanilli at Six Flags?
pt has pneumonia should he be coughing stuff up?
Who shot Guy Smiley?
And the winner of best search term of the week goes to the freak show that searched for:
zac efron naked showing doodle and tits
Besides being obsessed with search terms that bring people here, I also have a slight addiction to search engines where I can win stuff.
Here is the new one I found yesterday:
I don’t know why I love this stuff so much, but I do. Maybe it is because I won my iPod on Blingo, or some Amazon gift certificates on Winzy.
Or maybe I just need a life.
Oh, just go sign up. Remember if you win, I win.*
Just like that.
Come on. Just do it. If for no other reason, do it because you feel sorry for me. I’ll be taking the twins to a birthday party at My Gym. Normally I would be excited, but I still have a lot of pain in my ribs.
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