Archive for the 'Searching' Category


Did you know that Meat Loaf is Scott Ian’s father-in-law?
True story. Scott Ian from Anthrax is married to Pearl Aday, Meat Loaf’s daughter.
In related news, I can’t find a picture of these two together anywhere. How is it even possible that there aren’t any of Scott Ian’s wedding picture on the internet? Maybe I should try to friend him on Facebook.
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There is magic all up in this bitch.
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I was working on a rant about Tiki Barber leaving his wife (his 8 month pregnant with twins wife) leaving his wife for a 23 year old home-wrecking intern, when I found myself doing a google image search for “Tiki Barber Traci Lynn Johnson”.
The very last image hit on the first page caught my eye for two reasons.
1) That woman is not Traci Lynn Johnson.
2) I know for sure, because she is, in fact, my friend Kristen.

3) And I recognize that picture!
I assure you Kristen is no hussy intern, no matter what Google Image Search says.
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Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
2:59 pm |

In my never ending quest to win things from search engines I came across this:

As far as I can remember, Lil Wayne and I have never met and I’m fairly certain we are not related.
I’ve never even heard of Bumpy Johnson, but it sure makes me laugh.
Yes, I’m still a 12 year old boy.
But listen, if Lil Wayne was talking shit about me you guys would tell me, right?
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
9:08 pm |

You know when I title a post “Bob Dole was the Doliest Bob” it must be time for the search term of the week!
after i get my adenoids out should i get my tounge pierced
Sure. Right after you explain to me what one has to do with the other.
benadryl for birds
Come on! They live outside.
music videos that have a death clock over peoples heads
pictures of a broken penis
Sorry about that, fellas.
My cat’s paws are stuck in glue
Sucks to be your cat.
Yo Gabba Dildo
You are thinking of Muno. (He’s tall and friendly.)
John Cusak’s dating
Nobody tell Bossy. She’ll be crushed.
Lolita farting
auspicious
Just any auspicious thing?
scarlet johannason niples
Good spelling, Spellerson.
These last three were right in a row.
Stay tuned for next week when someone searches for “Spellerson” and having recently made up this word (well, Gabe uses it all the time, but since he doesn’t have a blog I am taking credit) I will be the ONLY hit. Sweet.
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
5:15 pm |

No, seriously. Someone actually searched Brad Pitt + Hairy Crotch which puts a very specific picture in my mind and it isn’t the pleasant picture you would think would be.
Since I know you all wait breathlessly by your Google Reader to see how the perverts, weirdos and misguided searchers ended up reading about my kids and their bowel issues, here goes:
All that you need to know about mason jars
THE UNEXPLAINED
all of it?
for sore hips funny get well card
Whatever, Yoda. Just get a regular funny get well card.
poops on flower are you sure this is what you want to do?
Wha? I’m not sure of how you would even go about pooping on a flower. You’d have to either be really small, have a very large flower, or have fantastic aim.
Photo of DJ Lance Rock not in costume
I looked, I really did. I couldn’t find anything not in costume. But I did find this:

Here is a question I can actually answer:
How can people take pictures when they are drunk? I say, like this.
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
10:50 am |

It is time for another episode of: Strange Search Terms that Bring People to My Blog
Such as:
beep beep beep Moonlight Sonata
butt emoticon
body acne pictures
perfect pelvis
“pooped in her” – I don’t even want to know if they meant that or not.
And with questions, like:
Who sang with Milli Vanilli at Six Flags?
pt has pneumonia should he be coughing stuff up?
Who shot Guy Smiley?
And the winner of best search term of the week goes to the freak show that searched for:
zac efron naked showing doodle and tits
Posted by Goon Squad Sarah @
10:47 pm |