The Goon Squad (The Goon Squad is my five year old twins for those of you who are new around here) and I were discussing Santa and if he was watching you on the day after Christmas. I thought he was probably taking a break, but maybe he had spies. Ian said he knew exactly [...]
The Weather Outside is Frightful
December 22, 2009
Actually, the weather isn’t that bad anymore, but the streets in my neighborhood are seriously frightful. And our schools are canceled for the rest of the year. To be completely fair, the kids really only had two and a half days of school this week anyway, but they were three very important days for Christmas [...]
They Must Be Learning Something at School
December 8, 2009
Ian: How do you spell we? Claudia: W – E . Ian: No, not that kind of we. Claudia: W – I – I . Me: agape
The Fairy Debate
December 7, 2009
We were watching the Bucs getting slaughtered by Jonathan Stewart and the Carolina Panthers yesterday when a commercial came on. Claudia said “Oh I know that song! It is The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy! I love this song. I beamed at my brilliant child for knowing her classical pieces. “Very Good, Claudia!” I [...]
3 Unrelated Things That All Make Me Nervous
November 19, 2009
1) Driving behind motorcycles. I saw this really gory video in Drivers Ed and I’ve never quite recovered from it. 2) Snakes. Just in general. 3) The phrase “Mommy, What if I went downstairs and accidentally peed in the litter box?”
Some Dude
October 16, 2009
“Hey,” I said “That is a nice painting. Is that you?” “No,” he says “That is some dude.”
Traitor
September 22, 2009
My son, My first born,* The baby in the Derrick Brooks onesie, told his kindergarten teacher that his favorite football team was the Redskins. My daughter is getting the birthright.
And the Award for Least Mature Parent Goes To…
September 3, 2009
As I was putting Ian to bed last night I saw something blue on his forehead. “What is on your forehead?” I said, “Is that toothpaste?” Fortunately (sort of) I had been in the middle of cleaning the kitchen and I had a paper towel in my hand. So I did what any normal mother [...]
I Have Got to Learn to Watch My Mouth
July 8, 2009
After a particularly treacherous experience in the Trader Joe’s parking lot he said Mommy? Yes, baby? That lady… Yeah? She was in our fucking way.
How Do You Do a Kiwi?
June 1, 2009
Have I mentioned that my kids used to be picky eaters? I suppose they are still fairly picky, but in order to make sure that they don’t grow up to be that one guy who only eats chicken breasts, cheese pizza, plain hamburgers and grilled cheese sandwiches on white bread* we have a rule about [...]
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