June 25, 2008 | Now I've Seen Everything, Parenting, The Pink One, The Unexplained
“Mommy!” she yells. “Look at me! I have a tail.”
Then she runs by with a pair of underpants shoved in her butt.
NOW I’ve seen everything.
Archive for the 'The Pink One' Category
June 2, 2008 | Now I've Seen Everything, Parenting, The Pink One
Claudia is currently laying on her bedroom floor and crying because her brother pooped in the potty and flushed it before she had a chance to see it.
That wasn’t in ANY of the parenting books.
May 19, 2008 | The Pink One
This morning we were sitting in traffic on the way to preschool.
“Look Mommy! We’re in a car parade!”
I have to say that this is a much healthier way to look at it. It really takes the stress out of a traffic jam.
I don’t think the lady wildly gesturing in the car behind us knew that it was a parade. Or maybe she was just really bad at the “queen wave” (You know, wrist, wrist, elbow, elbow).
May 14, 2008 | Parenting, The Pink One
1:25 PM - Standing in my own kitchen.
Hey Mommy!
Me: Hi Claudia. Why are you completely naked?
Her: Because I wanted to wear these underpants.
Me: Why? What happened to the underpants you were wearing?
Silence
Me: Did you pee in your underpants?
Her: No.
Me: Did you get food on your underpants?
Her: No.
Me: Then please go get the underpants you were wearing and put them back on.
She scowls at me.
Me: What?
Her: (whining) But those underpants were dirty. I already wore them to school this day.
Me: Fine, but today we will be having a lesson learning how to do laundry.
May 2, 2008 | Parenting, Potty Training, The Cats, The Pink One
Me: Okay. I’m getting in the shower if anybody needs me.
Silence.
Me: Did you hear me? I will be in the shower if anyone needs anything.
Goon Squad: (not even looking up) Uh huh.
No more than two minutes later I hear running in the hall.
Claudia: Mommy! Mommy! Where are you?!
Me: I’M IN THE SHOWER!
Claudia: (Comes into the bathroom and trows open the shower curtain letting in a lot of cold air) Mommy! Mommy! It’s the greatest thing ever! Come see!
Me: I’m in the shower. What it it?
Claudia: It is the greatest thing ever! I’ll give you a hint. It goes in the potty and it isn’t yellow.
Me: What could it be?
Claudia: I pooped in the potty! You’ve got to come see it.
Me: Okay, when I get out of the shower I’ll come see your poop.
Claudia: Ok! (runs away)
42 seconds later I hear running in the hall and the bathroom door opens again.
Claudia: Mommy, when are you going to come look at my poop?
Me: I am in the shower. I am washing my hair.
Claudia: Can I see?
Shower curtain opens again, letting in more cold air.
Claudia: Oh. good job Mom.
Me: Thanks.
Claudia: How much longer will you be in the shower.
Me: 4 minutes.
One minute later the bathroom door opens again.
Sid: Meow. Meow. MEOW!
(You have got to be fucking kidding me)
Me: Sid, I am in the shower.
Small grey head pop inside the shower curtain letting in cold air.
Sid: Meow. Meow. meow.
Me: Let me guess. There is something brown in your litter box that I have to come see.
Claudia: (reappearing) Mommy! I see a kitty! What is Sid doing in the shower?
Me: I have no idea. Can I just shower in peace?
Curtain
May 1, 2008 | Parenting, Proof of My Immaturity, The Pink One
How am I supposed to keep a straight face when Claudia keeps calling Ian a Dammit Boy?
April 23, 2008 | Pictures, The Pink One
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Never underestimate the power of the dark side.
Why can’t I convince my children that it is “Darth” and not “Dark” Vader?
These are same kids that insist the guys from Zoboomafoo are “The Crap Brothers”.
Yeah it is still funny.
April 14, 2008 | Parenting, The Pink One
Claudia decided to wear her jeans backwards to school today.
I decided to let her.
You know - choose your battles and whatnot.
But what I was really thinking was Fine but that is so 1992.
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I’m working on the feed problem. I’ll let you know when I figure it all out.
April 10, 2008 | Parenting, The Goon Squad, The Pink One
I was having this lovely conversation with my children about how much I loved them and how happy their father and I were that we got them as kids.
I told them how much all of their grandparents loved them and how much their Aunt and Uncle loved them.
Somehow this turned into a math lesson and we were counting how many grandparents they have and how many cousins and then we got to how many parents they have.
Claudia said “I have two parents, but do you know who my very very very best parent is?”
“Who?” I said completely prepared for the compliment.
“My Daddy!”
Hmph.
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Sorry that my blog has been spotty lately. I am in the middle of changing hosting. Everything should be completely back to normal in the next 24 hours.
